Charlie and the Demon Factory (Dean and Deadpool part 2)
by SedatedKoala
Summary: Dean is still a Demon. Deadpool is functionally crazy. And Charlie is finally back from Oz, and brought a couple new friends. Mainly Dorothy and Turple the Tiny Flying Monkey. After the ordeal with Vetis, all Dean wants is some peace and quiet, and maybe some time to figure out things with Wade. But Dean's never been good at getting what he wants.


Adventuring is a lot of work, Charlie discovered. It's one thing to roll a 20 and Crit in a boss fight. It's another thing entirely to actually have magical orbs lobbed at your head in a life and death battle to save the kingdom. A year in Oz, and Charlie had earned several scars, a nasty magic burn that covered her entire shoulder, and a bonafide fairy mark of protection.

Also, she fell in love. Completely head over heels for Dorothy Baum, who was the biggest badass Charlie ever met in her entire life. She was fearless and cunning, full of tricks and secrets to fight against the wicked witches and occasional angry tree. The apples weren't even that good.

So, with Princess Ozma merrily upon her throne and the land is mostly a state of peace, Dorothy suggested to Charlie that they take a break from the adventuring life and go back to Earth for a while. Charlie had to fight hard to contain her enthusiasm for the trip. She was tired of sleeping in fields and tiny beds made for small people. And most of all, she was tired of constantly being in danger. All she wanted was a few weeks of peace and quiet getting caught up on comic books and Game of Thrones.

And computer. God, she missed her computer and smart phone. There were magic versions of these things, but the Oz corner of Avalon didn't have wifi or Google. And that was just annoying, especially when you're trying to figure out if a particular creature is friend or foe, or if this particular grove of sentient trees were friendly or trying to poison you.

They were trying to poison Charlie.

Thus, Dorothy found a convenient door and used the magic key, and next thing they knew, they were standing in the garage of the bunker.

Charlie saw Dean Winchester and immediately rushed across the room to throw her arms around her adopted big brother. She was practically in orbit by the time she let go of him. She was bouncing and talking fast about Munchkins, fairies, killing witches, finding loot, and showing off her magic, emerald-studded boots. She only belatedly realized that Sam was not the person standing beside Dean.

Meanwhile, Dean was trying to wrap his mind around the fact that the Lollypop Guild was flooding into the bunker's garage. Wade Wilson was not helping. Not one little bit. He was too distracted by all the small people to be much use to anyone. Every time one ran by, Wade's face lit up, and a soft, "Awwww!" would come out of his mouth.

Then Dorothy handed a leather satchel to Charlie, and a tiny flying monkey poked it's head out. Wade just about melted into a puddle of joy.

"He's so fuckin' cute!" Wade said as Charlie handed the tiny monkey over, not even questioning who she was giving her so-called "child". Charlie always figured, a friend of the Winchesters can't be bad.

"That's Turple," Charlie said, stroking the critter between the wings. She beamed at the woman beside her, and added, "Dorothy named him."

Charlie looked at Wade, then at Dean, eyebrows raised in a question that took Dean a minute to figure out.

"Oh!" Dean laughed nervously, and said, "He's Wade. Wilson. Wade Wilson."

Wade cooed at the tiny critter, and Dean thought the merc was going to faint when it touched his nose with its tiny hands. After a couple minutes, he reluctantly returned the tiny monkey, his eyes following another Munchkin as she ran towards the door to Oz.

The merc looked at Dean, a stupid grin on his face as he asked, "Can I keep one of them? Seriously, I'll feed it and water it…"

"They are not pets," Dorothy said, giving Wade a withering glare.

"I had to try," Wade said with a shrug.

Dorothy eyed him a moment, then said to Dean, "Don't worry. Only a couple are staying here. This was our farewell entourage."

Charlie gasped, and bounced a couple times as she said, "We brought gifts!"

The gifts she spoke of came in large wooden cases that were etched with spellwork on the lids. Charlie picked up one of the boxes and handed it to Dean, then gasped and stumbled backwards when Dean's eyes flickered black.

"Demon!" she shouted, raising a shotgun hidden under her long jacket.

Wade jumped in front of the gun just as the shot erupted, filling his chest with rock salt. Charlie screamed. Dorothy was shouting. The Munchkins were shrieking and running towards the door to Oz.

Dean caught Wade as he stumbled backwards.

Wade coughed, and said, "Looks like you got some explainin' to do, Chester."

"Who are you?" Dorothy demanded, taking a step into their space.

In one quick motion, Wade swept Dorothy's legs out from under her, and took her guns. With a twist of his wrists, the firing mechanism dropped to the floor. He just glared at Charlie when she raised the shotgun again.

Wade's eyes fixed on her, and he said flatly, "Do you really think that's a wise idea?"

Charlie was shaking. Suddenly, she wanted to be worried about asshole trees again.

Dean stepped between them, facing Charlie. "Look, I can explain this. A lot of things have happened since you were here. Most of it not good."

"You're a demon?" Charlie said, her arms shaking as she lowered the gun.

Dean nodded. "You could say it was a necessary evil. It's a really long story. And right now, I think I need a drink."

Charlie looked at Wade. "What about him?"

"Not a demon," Wade said patiently. He looked down at Dorothy, and said, "Are you gonna be nice, or do I have to be mean?"

Both Charlie and Dorothy glared at him. Dean touched his arm, a silent request that he step back. Wade nodded, but threw the remnants of the guns off the catwalk where they clattered onto the concrete.

The four walked inside, heading down to the main hall. Wade grabbed a couple beers out of the fridge. Dean headed for the decanters of whiskey. Charlie grabbed the last Red Bull. Dorothy just stood back with her arms crossed.

"First off? The good news," Dean started after downing a glass, and starting to refill. "Sam's fine. He's alive. No longer possessed by Gadreel."

"Gadreel?" Charlie asked. "I thought it was Zeke?"

"Yeah." Dean cleared his throat. "Turns out that was a lie. It was a different angel. And, uh…" He cleared his throat again. "A lot of bad things happened because of that. But Sam's fine now. Not dead. Not here, though. He's still in New York, hopefully getting ready to work for Tony Stark."

"Tony Stark?" Charlie said, her eyes going wide. "You mean Mr. Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist? That Tony Stark?"

"You forgot douchebag," Wade grumbled, looking down at his chest. His shirt was in shreds from the shotgun blast, and every now and then a soft tink would echo through the room as his healing factor kicked another piece of buckshot out of his skin..

Charlie scrunched her brow. "How did that even happen?"

Dean looked at Wade, and said, "That's actually another long story."

Dorothy cocked her head, looking at Deadpool, and said, "Who exactly are you?"

"They call me Deadpool," he answered. "Sometimes the Merc with a Mouth, which seems to imply that other mercs don't have mouths. Or, my personal favorite, The Regenerating Degenerate. Or was it Degenerating Regenerate? Either way, I'm a human mutate who knows how to kill people in creative and exciting ways."

As he talked, Charlie's eyes got wide. "Shut UP! No way! You can't possibly… You were in Spiderman!"

Wade shrugged. "It was late. I we were drunk. Peter still denies it."

Dean covered his eyes with his hand.

Charlie laughed.

Dorothy was unamused.

"I just can't believe you're real?" Charlie said, looking at him. "Like… Really?"

"Says the girl dating Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz," Wade snarked back.

"Touche," she said with a nod of approval.

"How about we get to the part where you turned into a demon that we shouldn't be exorcising right now?" Dorothy chimed in, eyes fixed on Dean.

Dean took a breath and rolled up his sleeve, revealing the scar. "This is the Mark of Cain. Given to me by the man himself."

"Nice dude. Has honey bees and a beard," Wade interjected.

"Sammy and I were hunting for a knight of Hell named Abaddon. And Knights can only be killed by the First Blade, the blade Cain used to kill Abel," Dean continued. "We got her, but shortly after, I ended up dead. As it turns out, other than giving me the ability to kill Knights of Hell, upon my death, the Mark turned me into a Knight of Hell. At the moment, I'm the only one."

Dorothy's frown deepened. "So, tell me, what does that mean?"

"It means I'm still me," Dean answered. "It means I'm not possessed. And I haven't harmed anyone. At least, no one who didn't deserve it."

"You say that now," Dorothy said, not convinced.

"I can control myself," Dean said, answering her statement. He looked at Wade, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "I've learned how to control the demon inside of me. Some days it takes more work than others. I'm still human, Dorothy. I still have a heart. And a brain."

"And don't forget your courage," Wade added with a grin.

Dorothy rolled her eyes. "I'm not convinced."

"Not my intention," Dean said as he downed the last of his third glass. "Just telling you the facts. What you do with that is your business."

Charlie stood up, and announced, "I'm really tired. Can we continue all this chit chat in the morning? Turple needs a banana."

Wade's eyes filled with hope, and he asked, "Can I feed the tiny flying monkey?"

Charlie shrugged. "Sure. I guess."

Dean smiled, watching Wade and Charlie walk to the kitchen, and couldn't hold back a laugh when the merc squealed with delight when the monkey took its first bite. Dorothy gave Dean another dirty look, before announcing she was going to the library. Dean poured another glass of whiskey, drank in too fast, then decided to take the decanter back to his room.

With the door shut, Dean turned his radio up loud and sat on the edge of his bed to start drinking in earnest. It wasn't long before the decanter was empty, and Dean rummaged around until he found a bottle of tequila that had been stored in the closet since before the Mark.

All he wanted was some peace and quiet. Some time to think after all the bullshit with Vetis. He wanted time alone with Wade. Now, he had an angry huntress, a spazzy nerd, and a tiny monkey to contend with. Can't even get one night alone…

There was a soft knock, and Dean pushed himself up from the bed, stumbling as he headed to the door. It was Wade, looking like everything Dean really wanted at that moment. He latched onto the merc, making him step back with his sudden armfuls of drunk hunter. The kiss was sloppy and overly eager.

Wade lifted Dean up, carrying him back into the room. The moment the door shut, Dean started trying to take off Wade's shirt, and was having a hard time doing it. And Wade was not helping. Not at all. In fact, he was fighting Dean's efforts. Until Dean rolled his eyes, and said, "Come on…"

"Not like this," Wade said, gripping Dean's upper arms. "You are drunk. And while I love the idea of getting you naked in bed, I want you to remember it, okay?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"

Wade kissed him, quick and soft, and said, "Seriously."

"You didn't care with Spiderman," Dean pouted.

Wade shook his head, kissing Dean's cheek. "That was a joke, Chester."

Dean fisted his hands in the tattered front of Wade's shirt, and said, "Don't leave. I don't wanna be alone."

"Like you could make me leave," Wade said with an amused smile.


End file.
